Kids Have No Fiters

My 37 week old baby has said her first words, they are "Hey" and "Momma". I'm not sure whether to rejoice or fear the thought streaming through her mind. If she turns out anything like my other two girls, I am done for. As I sit back ad reflect on all the things the older two children have sad over the year, I ponder whether the little one can inflict any more shame upon me. Here is recap of the things my girls have said over the years. My oldest child was about the age of three, and we went to the hospital for a well-baby check up. We were waiting in the line at the pharmacy when a female doctor stopped to admire the children. The doctor had asked my oldest daughter whether she liked being a big sister. She responded, "Yes!" with a strange look on her face. The doctor said, "You're so sweet!" then flashed my daughter a big smile. My daughter said, "Mommy look! She is missing a tooth just like me." I was mortified, but the doctor just laughed and explained that it was just a gap. My middle child was three years old, and absolutely loved Usher's song "OMG". Nothing but for her to do but switch up the lyrics. Instead of singing, "Honey got a booty like pow, pow, pow" she sang "Mommy got a booty like pow, pow, pow." She sang this in front of my parents and other family members. We couldn't help laughing because it was true. One day the girls and I were shopping in Walmart when we see a heavy set woman heading towards us. Nothing for oldest child to do but blurt out, "That's a huge lady!" when she was right beside us. I scolded her for not keeping her rude comments to herself. Even though she stated the truth, I had to let her that the truth is not always welcomed by the recipient. About a month ago, my oldest child comes up to me and says, "Mommy, I'm sorry for pushing your tummy out and putting all those marks on it, it's our fault you are fat." I didn't know whether to cry or laugh and ended up doing both. So last weekend we went to my parent’s house to visit. My father has some back problems and is undergoing physical therapy. As part of the therapy he has to do some stretching when he is at home. So my father heads into the family room and sets his mat on the floor. My middle child asks, "What is that?" My father replied, "Its an exercise mat, baby." So then she says, "So are you trying to get un-fat? Maybe you and mommy should going running, or are you too fat?" How do you begin to respond to such statements with a straight face? My girls have cut me and my husband too many times to count, so I can only wonder what the little miss will say when she gets the chance. Has your child ever told your spouse that he/she has cruddy feet? Please share your stories in the comments below.